Life is full of miracles. And if you look, you can see the miracles in every day as well. Yesterday, I stood at Ted’s bed and told God and Ted that if he is to be getting out of this, then a clear sign of improvement is needed fast. I felt slightly better. I mean, I’ve always known that the outcome is out of my hands, but this felt like a clear passing of the baton.
I went out with my two favorite nurses last night and it was great. They sheepishly admitted that they had never before gone out with a family member of a patient, and truth be told, it is likely frowned upon, but this felt like the time to make an exception if there ever was one. We talked like a group that had met at a retreat or camp or something and you want to know everything about one another before everyone is dispersed and gone home at the end of summer. When it came to talking about Ted and his critical care, at least I didn’t have to explain anything about what was going on and we could just talk openly about everything.
Some time in the middle of the night last night, I awoke and had a thought. I wondered that if Ted is not to have a miracle and have his lungs recover, should we explore if his passing could be a miracle for someone else. I mean, his only pre-existing condition was that he wore a hearing aide (yes, just one as he lost the other one shortly after his extensive search, purchase (from South Korea – yes, this is probably another story to be told) and then wearing them for just a few weeks).
I brought it up to my nurse this morning and she couldn’t speak to how Covid would effect organ donation. Then, when the Dr. came around, my nurse and I brought it up to her. Turns out, you call the transplant group, they evaluate and let you know. My nurse gave them a ring. Now, don’t go thinking that we are ready to cash in all of Ted’s cards for someone else just now. We just need to be informed in order to make decisions. We hope this is a mute point and just good information to know. Turns out that complete organ donation is off the table due to him having Covid so recently. They did say that eyes, tissue and bones are a choice though.
In the meantime, they have turned the number of breaths down to 24 and have increased his sedation so that he is not over-breathing again. The pressure resistance that the ventilator registers when pushing air into his lungs has increased – meaning he has less space for the air to go, meaning the lungs are getting worse still. They hope with the fewer breaths and sedating him enough to keep him synchronized, we can buy more time for healing.
I don’t know if it is the increase in sedation again, or what, but he seems more peaceful today than yesterday. I told the nurse that I wanted to push him over to the other side of the bed and just crawl in with him for a bit, but she didn’t jump in to make it happen, so I took it as a no.
Thanks everyone for your wishes, prayers, hopes and time with us – physically and energetically.
We love you all.