April 2023

Friends came in from Missouri, who own the cabin along the CO River that I love to visit, and so I went there for some further relaxation and days of skiing at Mary Jane Ski area. We were captivated by the charms of a visiting moose every morning, lovely skiing every day and just hanging out and catching up in the evenings.

I managed a wonderful ski day with Ted’s ICU nurses once again too.

I went and got the Tdap vaccine and I don’t know if it has immediate affects or if it is just a coincidence, but my persistent and constant cough went away after receiving the shot. Either way, I was so happy to have it gone.

I took off for Albuquerque with the thought that I would likely stay a week. While I was longing to have some quality baby and friend times, I also didn’t want to impose or infringe on their time together as a new family. I knew that they had been having a night doula come in and stay with the baby a few nights a week and the daddy was taking the other nights so that momma could recoup from childbirth. She was breast feeding, but the night person would bring baby to her and then take away, change diaper and put back to sleep. It was a system that I wished I had been afforded in my day as it worked well for baby and mama.

I thought the drive down might somehow feel slower than normal since I was highly anticipating my time there, but the adverse was true. Before I knew it, I was only an hour or so from the Co/NM border. The needle on my gas gauge was below 1/4, so I fiddled around trying to locate my wallet so that it would be handy when I saw a station that was reasonable in price. No wallet to be found. I stopped and rifled through a few bags and into the seats, still no wallet. I now didn’t have enough gas to even get home if I turned around. I googled to see if one of the banks we use was in Trinidad – the next major town on my way and as luck would have it, the bank that held the business and one personal account was there. So thankful that I know my bank account numbers and have a digital drivers license on my phone as they allowed me to withdraw enough cash to get there and back. Now the trick would be to find the gas stations that still took cash and not credit only.

I arrived just as the night doula was cut from the rotation and I became the every other night person. On my nights, we would bring the bassinette into my room and most nights, when Kailani (baby) went to bed, so did I. She was so tiny and perfect that even her cry’s were like cooing to me. I had always enjoyed my own children at the newborn age – honestly it has always been one of my favorite stages as I swear that you can just watch them for hours and see the changes and growth. Like a beautiful plant, you can put them down, watch them grow, and not have to worry about them going anywhere. I loved my quiet night times with Kai as she stirred awake and we would quietly pad into her parents room for a spell of feeding and then back to our shared space to cuddle until sleep once again found her.

The next three weeks for me, was some of the most intimate space I have had the privilege to be a part of in quite some time. While I hadn’t been there for the actual birth, I felt like we were birthing the new beginnings of this new life in their home and I was given full permission to be a full part of that process. I cannot tell you what a blessing it was for me and I believe that gratitude flows both ways.

I won’t go into all of the personals, but like anything new in our lives, change must be managed, obstacles overcome and emotions navigated. Being the observer of finding and testing the myriad of breast pumps on the market was interesting. Learning about lip and tongue ties and the varying degrees and implications was something new for me. The options of everything for a baby seams to have exponentially grown since I had kids.

We also had a list of house and garden projects that we were set to conquer while there was three of us in the house to help out – hence my one week projection turning into three. The time went fast and when I left, I felt an emptiness in my arms where Kai had made her imprint.

Oh, and Kailani’s nurse practitioner who took care of the minor lip and tongue ties in an office apace inside her home, also happened to have the most amazing bee setup I had ever seen. It is based upon Slovenian hive houses and would solve all of my issues with having bees at altitude and cold weather. It is on my wish list.

Love Sally

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