Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree…Part One

04/29/15 Guest Post from Bethkookaburra

I became profoundly aware that Betty has wicked research skills as she walked me around the island last year pointing out unique and interesting things that even residents didn’t know. However, I believe it would be remiss of me not to share with Betty the 52 years of knowledge that I have accumulated about Australia prior to her departure. The fact that I have both a daughter AND a dog named Sydney uniquely qualify me for this task, and I hope that Betty will find the depth of my knowledge of benefit as she travels down under.


  • Should you encounter a Water Buffalo along the obstacle course, take these simple steps: Look the beast in the eye while humming deep in your throat like a chanting monk. Reach out with the hand-sign of the Texas Longhorns toward the buffalo’s forehead. This will subdue the beast into slumber, and you can continue the course without incident. (The classic “Rock and Roll” hand-sign will also work in a pinch.)


  • Kookaburras sit in gum trees. They fancy themselves royalty, and laugh a lot. Kookaburras are gay.


  • If you should find yourself glowing at any point during your trip, do not be alarmed. It is typical in the land down under for women to glow, and men plunder.


  • If you should find time to refresh yourself along the banks of a large river while wearing a one-piece body thong, remember to remove your canteen! Crocodiles are forever snatching canteens from about sexy women’s necks!


  • Occasionally, a man may smile and give you a Vegemite sandwich. I highly recommend that you eat it.


  • Dingos eat babies.


To be continued….

woman on croc

1 thought on “Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree…Part One

  1. Betty-watch out while you’re in the river-in your 1 piece thong!! I know you have many to choose from, which one did you take? Good luck!

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