When I phoned the nurse at O’dark thirty this morning, they had said that he again had an uneventful night except for a few spikes in his blood pressure. His morning stats were within range, so they tried tapering off the O2 on the vent to 50% again. And once more, this did not result in good results, so they pushed it back to 60% (still 40% better than the 100% of a week ago).

On Dr. rounds, the doctor said she would like to push to get the trach in sooner than later. It doesn’t come without risk as he will have to be without oxygen for a time while they do the surgery, but she said she will consult with a few of the surgeons. I understand the benefits, but as a person who tends to be hesitant about changes, it is still hard.

His blood pressure was beeping low most of the morning and even a massage or talking to him wasn’t raising it with the amount of sedation they had increased him to today.

I didn’t have a lunch pal today, and it was a glorious day, so I decided to walk up to the local DU campus area and check out a lunch spot there.

I got to see houses all decked out in fall fashion, smell the dry leaves in the park that hadn’t been swept up or mowed over, and just enjoy the trees and end of season foliage.

When I returned, his blood pressure was now running a bit high. It has been an especially challenging day to find the fine line between too much sedation (too low BP) and not enough sedation (running high). He also developed a low grade fever today, but we took some blankets off and let his body self regulate a bit and it started coming down.

My nurse of the past two days came in to take some urine and other samples to send to the lab to make sure he isn’t having an infection, and I said that I was looking for the right phrase to add to the white board today. I said I felt it should be something about finding the middle of the road or fine tuning or something and she said: “How about finding your happy place”.

That clicked in for both of us today. Finding the levels to keep him on an even keel, and me getting out for a good long walk and enjoying nature. Finding the happy place in the midst of challenges, is always a good goal. Thank you nurse Debbie.

Hope you all found your happy place today too.

Love Sally