Today is a day of death and taxes.
My weekend was already planned for getting enough of the taxes figured out that I can file a somewhat accurate extension. We haven’t filed on time in 25 years, so I’m not about to start now. That would surely draw attention.
My sister texted that her mother in law passed away. It wasn’t a shock as she had been ill and this past week had taken a turn for the worse.
While it can’t totally change my focus on what needs to be done this weekend, it is a reminder that life is fragile and where the real importance lies.
My brother in law lost his father many years ago and while this isn’t a shock it is still the moment when you realize you are an orphan and now the generations all reside after you and not before you.
I think back on that time when it happened for me and realize how very blessed I was/am with the aunts and uncles from both sides of the family who made sure we knew we could count on their presence in the absence of their lost siblings. Thank you to all of you for your continued support. It is immeasurable in importance.
I thought when Mom died that there was nothing more cruel than the closing of the coffin. I couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing her physical presence. I would have preferred to have her stuffed like a lion and have her where I could still visit. ( I know that is bad, but it is honestly how I felt at the time). I needed not worry about that as I now sometimes hear her in the choir or playing the organ at church or she pops into a dream. I am now myself even past the age that I remember her most vibrant and that is sometimes hard to wrap my mind around as a concept.
And with Dad, I still will visit somewhere or go to a restaurant and think that I need to bring him there the next time he is out for a visit. Neither of my parents share the physical space, but they have not left me.
So to my sister and her family and her husband’s family I have no words that properly tell you how much I wish I could be there to share in the stories that could be told that help you to remember the days of laughter around the pool (once it was built), of the antics from your childhood, or other stories to bring back more quickly the younger healthy Mother into your vision as that is the one we all hold most dearest.
My love to you all.
Wilma, I wish you were here and I could bribe you to take a look at the taxes as I am liking this task less every year.