Tag Archives: Email Exchanges

Missing the Point

I am heading to Mexico this week so last week I contacted my friend BA whom I went to Isla Mujeres with in 2014 and who also works in a bank and can convert some US dollars to Pesos.  I texted her asking what her bank’s rate is as mine was a bit on the low side.  She replied in text that she would check it out and get back with me.

Then next day, I get an email at work from her. (You might remember a previous blog of email exchanges with her where topics are varied).

Her email had the subject line of: Love this Couch so Much!!

and read:

This couch is amazing. Who knew that I could get one whole cushion for only .06133 each? So if I wanted, say, a HUNDRED cushions, it would only cost me $6.14 total. Yowzer. That is a deal. As I recall, the last time I bought a couch, a hundred cushions cost me $12.00 or so. I realize that it costs me a handling fee of $15.00 to order my cushions, but still a pretty great deal. If I had a friend who also needed cushions, we could split the $15 ordering fee, too. Then we would have the best couches ever!!

I love Interior Mark.

BA
Satisfied Customer

 

I was totally in work mode and thought to myself that she must be really bored today to come up with a story where she randomly prices out her bits of story, but hey, I can play the random email game as good as anyone, so I reply:

Ma’am,
You are correct that you did indeed get the best couch ever. Unfortunately it has since been found out that those cushions that we thought were available at that low cost (and let me commend you on getting a friend to split the cost – you are a true friend) were found to be not direct from the manufacturer as we were led to believe as a reputable dealer. They were found to be returns from a donation to an animal shelter that used them in their incontinent ward. With that said, if you don’t mind considering the stains as a decorative pattern, then these are the cushions for you. Let me know as I would be willing to include as a bonus a pillow that has been shredded and threadbare.
We love happy customers and want to keep gems like you.

Best Regards,
Gladys Yormine

Getting into my mode of thought,  she then replies to me after I have left for the day with:

Oh my! Well, boy did you find the right gal! As it would happen, I have actually been living in the incontinent ward of an animal shelter for the past 16 years! This could certainly account for the fact that the cushions not only LOOK fantastic to my eye, but they also smell just like home! I can’t wait to get home and burrow my face in there! Though, time to time, when I doze off my dear Petey comes to mind. He is right there in my dreams, one leg up and a steady stream anchoring his memory to every last porous surface I have ever owned.

I thank you for your honesty, but I’m keeping these cushions! God Bless you, Gladys.

I arrive at my computer the next morning and am cracking up at my friends email and so I reply:

I’m sitting and giggling at my computer and the room of people want to know what the heck is so hilarious.
You make my days.

She then replies:

You make my day!! Hahaha! I can always count on you for fun and giggles. So…I am slightly ever-so-challenged when it comes to exchange rates. But the rate is indeed as shown below. I also checked with Syd – and on the island the exchange rate is right around 16 Pesos to the dollar. It was 12 to 1 when we were last there – or close. So do you know how much you want to get? And when are you leaving?

BA

Then I reply:

Leaving on the 15th. Whoot! Whoot! I am going to miss you and Jen not being there but am ever so grateful that Syd and Lalo will be there for us. I texted Jen on her thoughts if I should go to Chichen Itza from Tulum while I am there. I think I will. Um, I got no rates below in my email, so is it possible you forgot to attach something or copy something? I’m not too worried. I can ask devin to stand at the arrivals from Mexico gates and see who has any pesos left over from their trips.

A while later, I get another response:

So the whole cushion pricing thing was completely lost on you? Are you already drinking tequila straight from the bottle? Here, let me help:
1 Cushion (Peso) costs .06133 each. Or, about 16 pesos to the dollar. (Cushions) Geez. At least now I know that nobody reading the emails on your end will ever suspect cryptic coded messaging.

Oh, and BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Cause you just made me laugh even harder!

At this point, I finally realize I am quite in over my head and can’t believe how ridiculous this has been and completely over my head.  The entire room that I work with is laughing because I am laughing so hard at myself.  They have no idea what has happened, but when someone is clearly cracking up and cant control themselves, then others can’t help but giggle at the laugh vibes.

I write back:

Oh My Goodness, I just laughed so hard that I caused a nosebleed! I also might have an office chair that has some pee on it too if you want one of those. I am such an moron! That was sooooo lost on me. Way way over my head. I was obviously in my snorkel gear (which it took me two hours to find last night – for real)
Why are you not going to be in Mexico with us??

I am such a goober. Your intellect is far too superior for me.

Back to where this started before I just thought you were bored and making up numbers and sending me random emails…..I’m almost thinking of changing $x.00 now and splitting the fee with you if your still offering up that deal.
Let me know your thoughts.

That was the end of our emails on exchanging pesos but not the end of the story.

She came over and I gave her a check for funds to change over for me and on Monday I got a text that her account had been hacked and someone in Austria (or Germany) had hacked her account and used nearly all of the funds.  Good thing the bank covers that kind of loss, but it almost had me crying tears again but not in laughter.

Moral of the story is to be extra careful with your debit cards and check curiously odd emails from friends for hidden messages.

missing the point

I’ll send a few photos from Isla Mujeres and Tulum Mexico.

Love Sally

Email Exchanges

 

cell phone usersIn this day and age where it seems everyone is attached to their phone, I have a friend who cant seem to keep her’s on or check a text message to save her life.

The only consistent form of communication is emailing back and forth from our work emails.  Now, I have let her know that everyone in my department has access to each others work emails so it is best to keep it not too personal.

So, to disguise her personal emails to me she generally puts something customer related in the subject line.

Now for Disclaimer:  Warning: If you have aversion to hearing about what middle age women talk about or wear, stop reading and close this window now.

graphic warning

So one day in the not too distant past, I received an email from her with the subject line of: “Thanks for your assistance!”

The email read:

Okay – seriously, have you ever had one of those days where you have TRULY reached the bottom of the underwear drawer because you just have too many other things to do than laundry? Well, I have to say that I hit that place today, and I need you to make a solemn promise to me as a friend and confidant. It is important.

If I should be injured or killed in an accident today, I really need for YOU to explain to any EMT’s, first responders or emergency room doctors (especially the cute, male ones) that THESE ARE NOT MY REGULAR UNDERPANTS! I have cute panties – it was a bad day! Please…I need someone who loves me to emphatically state that I do not like old, dingy, formerly white, cotton, high-waisted granny pants whose elastic last stretched in the mid-90’s.

Thank you. I love you.

I had a seriously horrible customer service escalation at the time that took over an hour of phone time with this inconsolable customer so I did not respond. After all, this kind of surprise email can’t just have a “I’ve got your back” response.

The call went right into my lunch hour so once I was off the call, I bolted for the park where I proceeded to wipe that call from my mind with one a million times better with another friend.

When I returned from lunch, there was another email from my friend with the subject line of “Sad”

this one read:

I am thinking that you are out today – or off, or you quit. And somebody else looked at my previous email.

To which I would like to say, since they are also probably reading this one, sorry about that. My name is Holly Berry and I am just a good friend of Sally’s. Having a weird day, so please disregard my previous email. It was just a joke.

Thank you.

I roared in laughter at my desk as not only is Holly Berry not her name, but it is the name of another dear friend of mine that she also knows! I howled at her attempt to throw Holly under the bus. Oh wait, that wasn’t an attempt, there were tread marks! Bahahaha. This is where I started printing the emails to share with at least Holly.

So I responded as if I was some unknowing person. (her email is badams)

Dear Bad Ams,

Your emails have been received and reviewed by our fraud department as you have been flagged as a possible threat to our company.  Your emails are being sent to the special encoded decipher department to ascertain the true meaning behind the words.  Granny Pants is a known subversive name for a blond single mother of two hiding in a small mountain town of Colorado.  She is known to have a dangerous mind and deadly mouth.  If encountered, she should be hugged hard and turned in to a group of lethal women known to gather together.  They are meeting this Sunday for a brunch.  If you can manage it, please bring said “Granny Pants” so that she can be dealt with accordingly.

Just remember, anything you can or do say will be used as a butt of a joke.

We were, after all having a Mom’s brunch for my birthday that weekend.

She responded:

HAHAHA!!!

Peed in my granny’s…

I then sent her a personal email – subject line: “public postings”

it read:

Dear Friend,

I hope you are okay and doing well.  I haven’t heard from you in forever and thought I should let you know that my email has been compromised and everything is somehow being posted on the interweb without our ability to stop it.  Luckily I know you have never written anything that could be misconstrued or be embarrassing to either one of us.

Best regards,

to which she responded:

OMG!

You are my soul-smartass….

These are the email exchanges between one of my friends and I.  Insight into lunacy.

I had meant to take the series of emails to our Mom’s luncheon as I had taken another exchange a time or two prior and everyone got a kick out of it.  I forgot.  Lucky for me, I can put it up here for them to see.  Oh, and kinda make that last email I sent come true!

mentally unrestricted

Thanks BA for the laughs at work when things go awry.  I would love to text or phone you sometime too though when it is outside of work hours.  Just saying.  And don’t worry about too many people reading this.  I’m not heavily followed.

Love Sally