I have been in deliberation these past few weeks with myself. I started this little blog three years ago. I suddenly had a dream go to to Australia, and the blog was a way to put it out there and keep myself accountable to follow through. It worked and I had a blast both getting ready for that trip and writing a blog every day for that period.
It truly changed how I saw the days. I started to look for the story in the big and small moments of everyday and it changed me for the better. It took me from sometimes feeling that my world was just what I experienced to seeing that life is a handshake where life is experiencing me and I it at the same time. I guess what I am saying is it changed my point of view for the better.
Anyhow, three years ago, it was just about the same price to sign up for 36 months as it was for 6 months and so I took the longer term. That term is now up and the price per month went from a cup of gas station coffee per month (which I don’t drink – not that there is anything wrong with that) to a Starbucks Latte with a scone (which I don’t drink or eat as both are overpriced in my book). The short story is, I can’t see paying the higher fees for a blog that is not used as much as it once was.
And it’s not just about the money, although the price increase would fund a trip to see any of my favorite friends and relatives out of state. It’s also about time and necessity.
I wonder now, how I managed a blog every day for those first few months. Was I totally ignoring my family? Was I more productive? Was it easier because I didn’t think about it, I just did it?
Where did I find the time and how did I not talk myself out of writing alot about nothing?
I still have hundreds of stories in my head to share, but if my heart doesn’t get them written and posted, the head has time to put in negative feedback that I’m stupidly sharing stuff that doesn’t matter anyway. I struggle more with that the more time passes. I honestly didn’t even give it a second thought when I was putting something up consistently. I know this is my issue and need to stop the negative Nelly side of myself that allows that kind of internal talk. But that’s another blog altogether.
So you see, the arguments in my head are not just one sided on any realm.
I’m not saying that I’ll never get back to a steady blog, I’m just too frugal to dish out money for something so seldom used these days. I did renew the domain, just not the hosting. And it’s not that I don’t have the stories in my head, those keep coming as I still look at most days with an anticipation of a story to be told from it. I just can’t seem to manage the time right now to get them out of my head and onto the computer.
So, I’ll post this blog and try to figure out how to move it to a cheaper host and not ditch it altogether as I really do enjoy the sharing and the heartfelt responses.
I know I will, because when searching for a quote to end with, the one below made me verklempt as I know it to be true. I need to put it on my wall as a reminder to write them down and not tear them up.